What To Do When Things Won’t Change

We live in tumultuous times with radical change all around us.
But what do you do when you’re ready for change and it’s not ready for you?
Easy: Use The LIGHT Process. The five steps are the same. Only the way we approach the questions is a little different.

Question #1: How have I been prepared?
Okay, you’ve done your homework (at least everything you can think of), but things still aren’t changing. Start by focusing on your core talents. Is the change you’re looking for in line with who you really are?

Remind yourself of what it is that you most profoundly bring to any situation. Is the change you want going to move you forward in actualizing more of your authentic self? Be sure you have an accurate assessment of yourself in relation to the new circumstance you are anticipating.

Question #2: How am I staying afloat?
The focus here is on invigorating your centering practice. Are you connecting daily with that essential part of yourself that is not subject to the ups and downs of life? Practice sitting in that place and just being. Don’t worry about making things happen. Clearly, they’re not happening; so you may as well be present with the moment of “non-happening.” What do you notice when you just rest in the breath?

Question #3: What do I need right now?
It’s really only legitimate to ask this question after you have centered yourself in a place of calm strength. Otherwise, you’re likely to get answers based on lack, not a sense of spiritual fullness. Acting from neediness never gives us lasting results or healthy satisfaction.

So the question is: What does your Real Self need in this moment? Perhaps it doesn’t need anything other than your full attention.

Question #4: What do I need to let go of?
Are you trying to push the river? When things aren’t changing, it’s so tempting to force them. We take action for its own sake—which, in my experience, is often disastrous. So, do you need to let go of your attachment to the idea of how fabulous things are going to be when they change?

Ask yourself if you’re just trying to escape an uncomfortable situation without learning whatever lessons it may contain for you. Over the years, I have found that the only way out of something I don’t like is to love my way out. By that I mean that I have to find the good in the situation (or the people involved) before the universe moves me forward.

So letting go of resentment, frustration, annoyance, mild dislike, impatience—all those “not really terrible but not all that useful” emotions—may be your key to progress.

Question #5: Where do I go from here?
If the way forward hasn’t revealed itself in the course of events, it may be that circumstances just aren’t “cooked” yet. My tendency has often been to want change before the time is ripe. Events, relationships—even our lives—have their own life cycles. Just because we’re ready for cycles to turn doesn’t mean the timing is right.

So the answer to Question #5 may be: Stay put. Rest in the present. Have faith that what you seek from a place of personal authenticity is also seeking you. Revisit your contribution to either problems or solutions. Is there something more you can do? Or is your job simply to be kind and hold a space of love and compassion for those who are still learning their lessons?

Sometimes “right here” is the only destination we need to be concerned with.

Next suggested article:

The LIGHT Process – The Book. Select this page to order the book and get going with the Five LIGHT Questions in the “Start Here Guide” at the back of the book.

Learn More…

Webinars, speeches and keynotes about The LIGHT Process
More articles on Cheryl’s PsychologyToday blog: Living on the Razor’s Edge
Return to the Featured Article about change
Return to the Guide to the change Articles


Copyright © 2017 Cheryl Eckl and CherylEckl.com. All rights reserved.

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