The Luminous Life of Twin Flames

Achieving Selflessness in Love

A woman I knew was anticipating her forthcoming nuptials to the man who was her twin flame. This was her second marriage and promised to be a happy one, as was her first, which had ended in the death of her husband of 57 years. So I was surprised when she declared that she expected this union to be 50-50. Equal input from each partner.


At the time I didn’t question her math. But I really wondered how a technique that works for splitting a restaurant bill could lead to marital harmony. I continued to explore this question in my novels about twin flames.


A major challenge for these couples—apart from surviving attacks from their ancient nemesis, Arán Bán—is how to manage their relationships. Even though they know their souls were created as one in the beginning, reclaiming that unity is a tall order.


How Love Becomes Selfless

In The Mystics and The Mystery, Glenna (who is married to Rory) has some advice for her friend Debbie (a seer), who is newly wed to her soul’s twin, Jeremy (also a seer). In this scene the couples are hiking up Mount Brandon on the Dingle Peninsula in Ireland. The men have gone ahead of their wives, who pause when Debbie asks Glenna a question.


“May I ask you about your relationship with Rory? You two are a marvel of harmony. How do you do it? Nothing seems to bother you. You’re always in the flow of what’s happening.”

“Oh, plenty bothers us,” Glenna chuckled. “But we don’t let disagreements stick. We talk things out—constantly. Some days it seems like all we’re doing is processing feelings, thoughts, upsets, worries.”

“That’s a lot of work.”

“It is, yes, but the result is worth the effort. After nearly dying at the hands of Arán Bán, we realized that we had to become totally dedicated to our path as twin flames and as individuals.”


“A run-in with that man would certainly be a strong motivator,” commented Debbie.

“It was, and still is. Rory found this great book on conscious love that we’re studying. The idea is that each partner is one hundred percent dedicated to the other partner’s success on the spiritual path. To do that, you have to be one hundred percent dedicated to your own path. Otherwise, you become co-dependent or obsessive.”

“We don’t want that!”


“Exactly. Your love becomes selfless because you don’t want to burden your partner with your psychological baggage. So when a negative pattern comes up, you name it and deal with it.”

“What if you can’t name it?”

“Then you wrestle with it together until you can. We’ve come up with some silly phrases for those patterns so we don’t get caught up in a sense of struggle. That’s what can make you vulnerable to projections from negative forces.”
“What kind of phrases?”


“My favorite is ‘banana peel.’ You know, an old emotion or behavior you’re always slipping on. You can call yourself on a banana peel or your partner can call you on it. It’s such a silly image that you laugh and stay out of criticism. These patterns are just stuff. They’re not who we really are. Seeing them like that makes it easier to let go and move on.”

“Does it work?”“Eventually. Although there have been days I thought we were nothing but a pile of banana peels. At a certain point you just have to laugh at the absurdity of the human condition. And pray for enlightenment.”
“We need that for sure. Jeremy’s never been in a long-term romantic relationship and I’ve never been in a truly successful one. We do great until one of us hits a snag, then we don’t know how to talk to each other about it. Neither of us wants to fester, but sometimes we do.”

“It helps if you can say what you want from the other person.”
“What if you don’t know? Having inner sight is no guarantee you’ll understand yourself.”
“Then say so to Jeremy. That might get the conversation going.”


Following Glenna & Rory’s Example

When we find our relationships being challenged by those inevitable foibles, what would happen if we tried naming some ‘banana peels’ and talked them out with our loved ones so we don’t slip on them? Might we become more conscious of our thoughts and behaviors toward one another?
As with most of us, the fictional twin flames couples are not always successful in achieving a one hundred percent mutual commitment to conscious love. Yet as time goes on, they do seem to become more selfless. Writing their stories taught me a lot about how this generosity of heart can help create a luminous life for anyone, not only for twin flames.